"문제는 내 탓? 과거 파지말라" 분석 멈추라는 정신과 전문의 조언 | 중앙일보 (joongang.co.kr)
"Many patients I meet in the doctor's office are constantly pondering their past or wounds and looking for reasons why they are having a hard time. However, analysis such as "I have this wound" and "This is my life because of others" does not improve. Turn off the thought switch and focus on finding a way to live well now. If you live well in the present, the past becomes powerless."
The message of psychiatrist Jeon Mi-kyung (48) was different from books with keywords such as self-analysis, comfort, and empathy that have been popular in recent years. In his book "You Are Stronger Than I Thought," published this month, he advises those who complain of mental pain to stop bad psychological habits such as self-determination, regret, and self-pity. And it encourages you to find your hidden psychological capabilities and initiative and solve the problem. I met him on the 23rd, who said that he had written a book to overcome his depressed and lethargic days like patients.
Q. Why stop analyzing and thinking about yourself?
"People don't know themselves well. You don't even know where to start if you have a problem. This is why concepts such as MBTI personality type tests and inner children (the concept of counseling that childhood experiences remain after adulthood and affect life and behavior) are popular. He analyzes that the present is like this because of past events or his personality, and then he slaps his knee. But that's the end. Life doesn't improve much."
Q. Why is it hard to stop negative thoughts such as self-determination and regret.
"If you turn the cause of the problem to the past, yourself, and others, you feel comfortable. Because you don't have to try to change the situation. Instead of solving a difficult situation, let's keep looking inside."
He explained that Sigmund Freud's theory of psychoanalysis and inner children, which has been settled in the past, has limitations in current society. Freud's psychoanalysis is the concept of finding unconscious memories and healing psychological problems. Freud lived in an era where the level of education and human rights was low and there were no psychiatric drugs, he said. "The way of selling the past worked because individual efforts could not live the present properly."
Q. Still, wouldn't the strong inside have the power to solve the problem.
"Of course, those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to things that are hard to handle need professional trauma treatment and warm empathy first. But even if you're weak inside, you have the power to change things. Even with depression, panic disorder. I've been through a difficult growth background, but I see a lot of cases of rolling and running in reality. There is also post-traumatic stress, but many people are moving toward post-traumatic growth."
Jeon said he disliked telling young people who lack economic power, "Life as it is is okay," or "Don't mind the gaze around you" to someone with a free mentality. Instead, it advises patients who fail the civil service exam seven times to "look for another job," or patients who want to change their spouses who commit adultery to "don't expect it." They say that brave abandonment is needed, not easy avoidance.
Jeon lost his parents one after another last year. He said he realized that he was similar to the patients he met in the doctor's office while spending the day and night in tears in self-blame and regret. And I wrote a book trying to overcome this.
Contemplation / Eam Taekyoung
"I will convey this knowledge to my own sons, to my teachers, and to my disciples who have been signed by protocol and oath according to the law of medicine. But I will not pass this knowledge on to anyone else."
The above is in the original Hippocrates oath. The phrase "I will not convey this knowledge to anyone else" implies that you should not invade other areas and do not stay still if others try to invade.
Psychiatrist Jeon Mi-kyung's claim that "concentrate energy on living the present rather than selling the past" seems to be an accident within the psychiatric framework. I agree that analyzing the past alone cannot solve the problem. However, it is difficult to change myself in the present if I do not understand the past. The law of inertia in physics is that "an object tries to maintain its current state if no external force is applied," which works the same way for the human mind.
Meanwhile, director Yang Jae-jin, who appeared in MBC's "One-time Instructor" and "The Life of a Wise Relationship," also says that attempting to change a person's personality is likely to lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
I think half right and half wrong about this. I agree that it is impossible for others to try to change me directly, but indirectly, I think it is possible to change gradually over time and to change myself with the appropriate methodology. Of course, it is not easy. More fundamentally, the medical community has reached a deep understanding in detailed areas, but it seems to be a very shallow understanding of the relationship between each area. It is locked in the framework of the above Hippocrates oath.
Psychologist Carl Jung saw evil as the result of an individual's failure to integrate and balance his unconscious or shadow self. He also said that an individual who suppresses or denies his dark impulses is more likely to project it on others and act in a destructive manner. If you turn his story into an interpretation of the reason why I'm having a hard time now, it will be as follows.
"My current characteristics, which are formed according to the Neuroplasticity, in which nerves related to the body part are more developed and nerves related to the body part that are used a little, are not yet integrated and balanced." So now I'm in a state of high instability. Therefore, it is necessary to integrate this unstable state and go to the stage of reaching balance so that we can fully escape from the difficult situations."
"Even most modern people who do scientific work, including the medical profession, still do not fully accept the fact that 'human beings are a union of cells,' and that 'there is desire because there is a body, and there is fear because there is desire.'"
If I understand the process of forming a person's tendency, I can understand why it is difficult for me to get out of this difficult situation. In general, a person's personality is formed by the Neuroplasticity created by the reality that he or she has no choice but to choose one particular path among the very various paths that can be chosen on the voyage of life. It can be understood that it is not only difficult to change my current characteristics but also that effective strategies can be systematically implemented to modify them in a good way only when it is understood that it was formed through various variables and long-term processes.
Let's be a little bit more specific. The existence of "I" controls my body and mind through automatic control mode by brain stem (life support activity, reptile brain) and limbic system (emotion, mammalian brain) and thinking control mode of neocortex (reason, primate brain) based on reflection. I can recognize and analyze the outside world and myself mainly through experience and some reasons and change my control program to big and small based on this. My current control program is the result of the interaction between 'experiences & reasons from the past' and 'my control programs from the past that are continuously but momentarily slightly different'. The control program is programmed according to the "Neuroplasticity" in which nerves related to frequently used body parts are more developed and nerves related to slightly used body parts regress.
"A mental or physical approach alone is very difficult to solve the problems you are experiencing. Medicine should move toward an integrated observation of the body and mind and exploring the methodology that these two reach balance."
Each man has his own attitude. The posture consists of 'body posture', 'breathing posture', and 'mind posture' in detail. These postures are the result of a specific individual's life, and the results form body and neural structural characteristics by interacting with each other through the channel of silver breathing. The important thing here is that it is much more effective to use a neural structure approach secondary to the body's postural path than to approach the neural structure path as a way to change one's tendency. Through research related to this, I summarized the 'Major 8 Principles of Body Posture', 'Major 3 Principles of Breathing Posture', and 'Major 6 Principles of Mind Posture'.(see link below)
The 8 main principles of body posture
The 3 main principles of breathing posture
The 6 main principles of mind posture
I believe that understanding and accepting "the eight main principles of body posture," "the three main principles of breathing posture," and "the six main principles of mind posture" are the best happiness solutions that have nothing to compare in cost-effectiveness. I'm sure my research above lacks a lot, but I'm looking forward to someone opening up a new level of medicine based on this feeble study of mine.